Rare photo of David Avocado Wolfe auditioning for the movie “Cocktail”. David is juggling a bottle of his Longevity drops, which contain alcohol that he links to cancer.
David Wolfe is selling longevity drops!1 Golly gee whiz! This is exciting news!
Until we got bogged down in the drudgery of this never-ending presidential campaign here in the United States, where watching the news conjures up thoughts of sticking my tongue into a 120 volt electrical outlet, I had always hoped to live forever. I wanted to live long enough to see humans travel to the stars. I secretly thought I’d persevere and see the Chicago Cubs win a World Series. I’m embarrassed about never buying life insurance and didn’t want to be confronted with the consequences of that mistake by actually dying.
So there I was, credit card in hand over on Wolfe’s Longevity Warehouse web site, ready to make a purchase of the liquid that’d give me eternal life, and I thought: “wait a minute… maybe I should check out the labeling on this product. Wolfe hasn’t been exactly straightforward with his science in the past.”
Indeed, this is the man who claimed that water is alive.
Here’s the product in question:
David Wolfe’s Longevity Drops
Anyone want to check out the ingredients with me?1
Longevity drops ingredients (click/enlarge)
Oh dear. David Wolfe’s Longevity Drops contain alcohol. This is a conundrum.
Now, for those of you who studied science at Food Babe University, a conundrum isn’t one of those things you wear while having safe sex. The word means “a difficult problem”… something illogical… a severe contradiction, as it were: something David Avocado Wolfe is famous for.
Why is it a problem for Wolfe to be selling a longevity product that contains alcohol? Because the Avocado Dude recommends you consume this elixir daily, but in an article titled “This is What Happens to Your Body if You Drink Alcohol on a Regular Basis”, he warns that alcohol has the following effects on your body:2
- It causes cancer
- It decreases vitamin B12 production
- It decreases vitamin D and calcium absorption
- It damages the liver
- It’s a depressant
So… “buy my product to live longer, but it will kill you. Bottoms up! Love, David!”
Do yourself and/or a sick, disadvantaged person a favor: Help make the world a better place by searching for and re-tweeting the truth about David Avocado Wolfe with this hashtag:
#DontCryWolfe
And don’t ever, ever buy anything from his online store. If you want the grape alcohol featured in his longevity drops, it’s better known as wine, and you can pick up a decent bottle for a few bucks at your local liquor store. #Cheers. #BottomsUp.
Image Credits
David Wolfe/Longevity Warehouse screen captures and product images are used in accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, commonly known as “fair use law”. This material is distributed without profit with the intent to provide commentary, review, education, parody, and increase public health knowledge.
“Cocktail” parody by Mark Alsip/Bad Science Debunked. Used under the parody provision of Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107 of U.S. copyright law. This material is distributed without profit with the intent to provide commentary, review, education, parody, and increase public health knowledge.
References
(1) Food for the Immortals Longevity Drops (50ml)
http://www.longevitywarehouse.com/food-for-the-immortals-longevity-drops-50-ml
(2) This is What Happens to Your Body if You Drink Alcohol on a Regular Basis!
http://www.davidwolfe.com/happens-to-body-drink-alcohol/
Bad Science Debunked 
Pingback: David Avocado Wolfe Sells a Carcinogen (#DontCryWolfe) | jabbajane
Reblogged this on jabbajane and commented:
I dropped him long ago. fake ‘guru’
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I dropped him long ago. fake ‘guru’
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Pathetic. Alcohol is carcinogenic in large amounts; not the small amounts you find in this “elixir”. By all means debunk Wolfe’s junk, but please, don’t debunk junk with junk science.
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I suggest you spend some time reading the writings of Wolfe. He doesn’t take quantities into account in discussing ANY chemical or or compound; he claims toxins accumulate in the body. When he cites IARC classifications, he doesn’t cite quantity, he asserts being on the list alone makes a substance dangerous. My debunkings turn pseudoscientists’ methods against them. That’s what I’ve done here.
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Clearly you’re not reading the entire article. His whole point is taking these snakeoil salesmen and using their own belief systems and using it against them. d
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Cordyceps? As in the parasitic fungus, thought to be an aphrodisiac in some Asian countries? Here is a BBC Planet Earth video about it {{Shiver}}: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKjBIBBAL8.
Also, Ormus Gold: “created by concentrating metallic gold to 99.9% purity … This metallic gold is then transformed into Ormus Gold via David Wolfe’s undisclosed unique alchemical process, which is patent-pending.” HAHAHAHAHA!
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